I don't know about you, but when a big change happens in my life, I get both excited and overwhelmed.
I am excited at the idea of a new opportunity for me to learn from.
But I get overwhelmed at the idea of having to drop what I know to make room for new information, let go of my expectations, and open to the idea of something new.
Change is inevitable; It happens every day, every minute, every second. So I began to sit with this truth and contemplate why our reactions are so averted to change and how we can open ourselves to receive.
I sat on it for a while and then started to come up with some clever ways to redirect our attention.
So today I am going to share 4 clever ways to develop patience during times of change
When our intention is sincere but the going gets rough, most of us could use some fundamental instruction on how to lighten up and turn our well-established habits of striking out and blaming.
The four clever ways provide just such support for developing the patience to stay open to what's happening instead of acting on automatic pilot.
1 | Don't set up the target
The first one is seen fairly often. Don't set up the target for the arrow.The choice is yours: you can strengthen old habits by reacting to irritation with anger, or weaken them by holding your space.
Times are difficult globally; responding to change rather than reacting is no longer a luxury or an ideal. It's becoming critical. We don't need to add more depression, more discouragement, or more anger to what's already here.
Whenever you catch yourself wanting to react, what can you do to remind yourself to pause? Perhaps labeling the reaction as just that, or using a hair tie around your wrist to lightly tap?
2 | Connect with the heart
When anything difficult arises - any kind of conflict or change - instead of trying to get rid of it, sit with the intensity of the anger and let its energy humble you and make you more compassionate.
This is like inviting what scares us to introduce itself and hang around for a while. As Milarepa sang to the monsters found in his cave, "It is wonderful you demons came today. You must come again tomorrow. From time to time, we should converse."
Often we treat these feelings like demons and tend to avoid them, or think of them as something bad. But that isn't the attitude here; instead, they become seeds of compassion and openness.
3 | See change as a teacher
Right at the point when you're about to blow your top, remember that you're being challenged to stay with edginess and discomfort and to relax where you are.
We are told from childhood that something is wrong with us, with the world, and with everything that comes along: it's not perfect, it has rough edges, it has a bitter taste, the music is too loud, the teacher's voice is too soft, too sharp, to wishy-washy. We cultivate a sense of trying to make things better because something is bad, a mistake, or wrong.
The main point of these ways is to dissolve the dualistic struggle, our habitual energy to struggle against what is happening to us or in us.
4 | Regard everything as a dream
Contemplate that these outer circumstances, as well as these emotions, as well as this huge sense of ME, are passing and essenceless like a memory, like a movie, like a dream. That realization cuts through panic and fear.
Everything that occurs is not only usable and workable, but is actually the path itself. Whether we regard our situation as heaven or as hell depends on our perception.
Finally, couldn't we just relax and lighten up? When we wake up in the morning, we can dedicate our day to learning how to do this. We can cultivate a sense of humor and practice giving ourselves a break.
What are some of the ways you deal with change? Do you find these tips useful? Let us know in the comments!